What If Animals Hadn't Been Okay?

by Courtney Mroch | More from this Blogger

07 Apr 2008 10:12 AM

Over in Marriage today I reflected on circumstances growing up that influenced my decision not to have children. Human ones at any rate. I've always had a pet or two, but I've treasured them as more than mere "pets." Like many of you, my pets are my kin. Once they enter my house and heart, they become family.

But why is that okay? If I'm going to cherish them as my children, why not have real ones?

I think it's because just as I was raised in an environment where kids were considered a burden, I was also raised in a family of animal-lovers.

But what if I hadn't been?

A reader recently left a comment on an article I'd written and had almost forgotten about. It was called "Tabby, Murphy, and Mr. Meow: What If...?". In it I reflected on what would have happened if I hadn't made the choices I'd made when I brought each of my three marvelous furry miracles into my brood.

Now I have a new "what if" to contemplate. What if I had been raised in a family that considered both pets and children burdens?

It's a chilling thought that makes me shudder. My pets bring me so much. I don't even have the words to describe. I have words, of course. Comfort. Joy. Bliss. Laughter. Tenderness. Wonder. Gratitude. Loyalty. Devotion. Forgiveness. Inspiration. Love. But none of those words seem sufficient enough to truly express the welling that occurs deep in my chest and spreads with warm tendrils throughout every fiber of my being on a daily basis simply being in the presence of my three monkeys. I certainly know the word to describe how I'd feel if things were different: empty.

But contemplating all this has given me a new perspective on people I encounter who don't like pets. Perhaps they were raised in an environment that didn't tout the benefits and blessings of becoming in-tune with animals. Maybe they grew up with the notion pets are dirty, disease-ridden, and bad.

It's helped me to find patience in my heart for people I formally was not willing to give it to, like my nemesis, the lawn guardian. Perhaps he's a creature of circumstance just like I am, and he only knows what he was taught to begin with.

I'm grateful for many of the examples I had to learn from growing up, but when I look into Murphy, Mr. Meow, and Tabby's eyes, hear their purrs and barks, stroke their fur, and feel them snuggled next to me, I am most thankful I was taught that animals are okay.

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Learn more about Courtney Mroch

Courtney Mroch is a wife, a proud pet parent, and a writer. She's been with her husband, high school sweetheart Wayne Pryor, over 20 years, married 11 of those. She's "mom" to Mr. Meow, a.k.

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BJC333 (5) 07 Apr 2008 01:51 PM

In my family, I would say the kids became somewhat of a burden as we (the kids) got older. We only had one pet, a cat, as we were growing up.

I have no children and many pets (many more than 3 ;-)) My reasons for not having children are basically 2: I never really wanted any, and I think it's irresponsible that the human race keeps making more humans when we can't properly care for the ones we have. Maybe it's just been my experience, but most people I know who have had children lately have done so for their own, very selfish reasons. Almost all of the world's problems are, in part, caused by -- or at least amplified -- because there are too many of us.

Did my upbringing have an impact on my choice not to have children? I'm not really sure, but I've not regreted it (I'm 42) at all.

I adopt dogs from rescues and most of my cats are former strays. I don't think it's right that we have spay and neuter programs for animals (or, God forbid, organized hunts because of animal overpopulation, when we (humans) are in fact the over-populators) and allow ourselves to procreate endlessly. Who determined that we are the most important of God's creatures?

Having children is not a right. It's a priviledge. And just because we can doesn't mean we should. I don't feel that most people truly grasp the responsibilty of raising another human being and the impact that human being will have on the world and others in it.

Courtney Mroch (9169) 08 Apr 2008 08:31 AM

You know, a lot of this also comes in to play with my decisions not to have kids, BJC333. Except I don't always remember it right away. I always think of the more selfish reasons I have for not wanting kids, but there is another part of me that knows what a huge responsibility it is and who the heck do I think I am to undertake it properly? And also the environment weighs heavy on my mind. I see all the people and the dwindling resources and I have to admit a statement you made has crossed my mind more than once too. ("Who determined that we are the most important of God's creatures?

Having children is not a right. It's a priviledge. And just because we can doesn't mean we should.")

Very insightful. (And deep!) Thanks so much for sharing!